10:58 PM ~
Remembering it’s Friday. Remembering I post on Fridays. Determination, because I want to keep my writerly promises.
10:59 PM ~
Thinking about humanity and the weird little things we do. Like, making inspiration walls or Pinterest boards, just to visualize the things we usually keep in our heads. This is a cute thing. Dreamers are cute.
11:01 PM ~
Thinking about tomorrow. Not sure what we’re doing tomorrow. My heart beats funny because of my anxiety. Wondering why my brain likes to make my heart beat faster for no reason. That’s silly. Stop that.
11:03 PM ~
Been thinking about the things I say to people. I’m thinking about what was running through my mind as I washed my hair just earlier. About how I wanted to apologize for all the awkward and annoying things I say to people. Wondering why I feel like I’m so awkward and annoying. Is it because of the things I do or the way I perceive them? I wish insecurity wasn’t my default emotion.
11:05 PM ~
Thinking about time and how it just keeps ticking slowly and doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to end except I bet one day it probably will. I bet in Heaven we won’t have clocks. That would be pleasant.
11:07 PM ~
Thinking about all the people who are sad right now who I can’t make feel better. I hope they feel better tomorrow.
11:08 PM ~
I had a thought about waffles. I don’t like waffles that much, but I was thinking about a waffle with strawberries on top — eating it and looking out the window as so many strangers shuffle by and I sip some coffee and I try to get back to work.
11:09 PM ~
Thinking about I can’t wait to live on my own. Silent adventures and dozens and dozens of filled pages and I’ll live in a city somewhere and string up fairy lights just because.
11:10 PM ~
Wondering how I’ll do my makeup tomorrow. Wondering about what Paris is like and if I should get back to learning French so I could fit in over there one day.
11:12 PM ~
I just heard a noise and half-wondered if it was a ghost or maybe a demon.
11:14 PM ~
Just got an email notification… And now I’m wondering if I should get a cup of tea or something after this. Or maybe not.
11:15 PM ~
Looking over at the two new dresses I got. Thinking about when I’m going to wear them. Just remembered I bought a NASA hat and it’s coming in the mail and I’m excited for that.
11:17 PM ~
Wondering how quickly other people run through thoughts. Noticing mine are about 1-3 minutes long. But, of course, they have to be faster than that. Because I’m writing mine down. I won’t try to estimate anything though. I’m terrible at that.
11:18 PM ~
Trying to decide if I want to watch Adventure Time or the Office.
11:19 PM ~
Thinking it’s funny how brains are always so busy thinking all these busy little thoughts about what we’re going to do next. I wonder if I’m too focused on what is next and what’s going to happen and how things will be in the future and if they’re going to be like the past or totally different. I have no chill about things like that. I realize how fueled I am by thoughts and fear of the future. There’s some kind of bible verse about that.
11:24 PM ~
Here’s the one I was thinking of…
“Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” Luke 12:22-26
11:26 PM ~
This one too..
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
11:28 PM ~
And just for good measure…
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11