Hello, hello, hello!
I didn’t post last week, eep! But also lots of stuff has been happening and my life is very weird and so I’m sure you don’t mind.
SO GUESS WHAT? I’M DONE WITH FINALS. AND MY GPA WENT UP THIS SEMESTER. AND I AM NOW OFFICIALLY ON SUMMER BREAK!!! So yeah, pretty exciting stuff. This week has been sort of weird and sunny and wonderful. I think God was kinda reminding me that I really don’t need much to be content. I just need Him. And He is such a God of little abundant blessings all over the place. And even when life is crazy and sad and terrifyng, it is still sort of beautiful and breathtaking. God is good, y’all. This is just going to be a quick blog post today, friends. I just felt like doing a happy little ramble today and getting some things off my mind and heart.
I’m going into my last year of my Associates degree after this summer. And then what? I have absolutely no clue. I want to start working on an English degree after that, but I haven’t felt at all certain about where I’m going to do that. I step in one direction, thinking it’s right and then I turn my head and see a far more sensible and interesting option over my shoulder. I start making plans for that option and then I see something else, and so on and so on and so on. I’m not a very good decision maker.
On top of that, I’m being called into adulthood. This has, disturbingly, been happening for awhile now. And the call is now very loud. Very loud.
I’m… I’m not ready. I am not in the least bit ready. I can only ever imagine an alternate version of me doing things like getting a job and driving a car and having my own place and traveling all by myself. And those dreams about alternate me are some of the loveliest ones I have. I cherish them and hold them close to my heart. I guess what I never fully anticipated was that I actually am becoming that alternate me. I’m being called to do these things. To do them all on my own. Teenage-hood is waving its weary-old, tired-old hand at me and saying goodbye. I have one last year before I enter my twenties and I have no clue in the world what I’m getting myself into.
But something tells me it’s going to be a grand adventure. One stuffed with little miracles and mercies. One with grace renewed every day. One with fairy lights above my head and flowers ever present on my table and a dear yellow tea kettle on my stove. And exactly one cat.
And I guess I’m not so mad about that. It will come and I will let it come.
For now? I’m enjoying the little things. I’m getting my fill of all the things I’m going to have to say goodbye to one day. It really is probably going to be a while before I actual fly away, so maybe I’m being a little over sentimental here (probably — nothing new there), but I know nothing but love lasts very long and so I’m going to soak it in and let it move my heart and make me cry little happy tears.
Because it’s summer and summer is for sunshine and happy little tears.
I guess that’s it for now, friend. Tune in next week for more happy tears and sunny smiles.