In which I am a very busy college student, but am still sending out all the gentle fairy vibes I can manage…

Good day, ladies and lads or whoever the heck reads these things! *waves awkwardly*
Quick notice: Next week I’m going to be reviewing Hope Pennington’s book “Fairytale: The Novel” as a part of a ~blog tour~ so just like, get super pumped about it and make sure to tune in then!! I was actually scheduled to post it this week, but because of my exams, I’ve had to push it down. Really hoping it will work out next week and I won’t have to wait until the week after. So busy, eep! Sorry blog tour friends!
Please do check out Hope Pennington’s stuff in the meantime though (Twitter // Instagram // Tumblr). She is pretty epic!

So… I don’t have much of a plan for today’s post because, like I said, I’ve been super busy trying to keep up with finals preparations. Essays and studying and trying not to cry! Yay! But all is well. And I will make it through as always and then I will have a glorious summer break.
So, today I’m just going to write a list of things I’ve learned this week and throw in some of my recent photography and sincerely hope you enjoy it!
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  1. I am literally an adult now.
Does this mean I’m throwing out my flower crowns and buying a business lady suit on Amazon? Heck no! I’m still going to watch cartoons and sing Disney songs and be better at holding a conversation with a five year old than with someone my age. That’s just my deal.
No, it just means I’m a little different inside and I’ve come to accept that recently. I’ve got to start taking things more seriously. I’ve got to put away some of those obsessive daydreams and start investing in right now a little more.
Not to say I don’t believe in my dreams anymore. That is my advantage over the usual sort of adultlings, actually. I keenly believe in miracles and rising up from the ashes and living a crazy, meaningful, beautiful life without sacrificing my passions and dreams. Unrealistic does not mean impossible and I will stand by that.
So, yeah. I’m still a reckless dreamer, but I just know I’ve got to start taking some of my dreams more seriously and start seriously praying over them, knowing and trusting that God can make anything happen. I’m a dreamer, but like, a serious dreamer.
~
  1. Patience is a very good thing.
I’m the kind of person that groans internally just a bit when I hear the word patience. Because yeah, I get that waiting is important, but why does it have to take so dang long?
Or at least, I used to be like that. Recently my eyes have been opened to just how beautiful patience is. It’s still hard, yeah… but it’s sort of amazing too.
Patience is faith in action. Patience is a little pink bud, happy to bask in the sun and dance in the rain, knowing deep inside that one day she will bloom. I just want to bask in the sun and dance in the rain, knowing and trusting one day I will bloom.
And it’s so weird, because now that I understand that, I want the waiting to last a little longer. I want to savor it and I think I’ll be sad when it ends. It’s almost as if God has matured my heart ever so slightly. I see that responsibility is beautiful. Purity — of mind, body, and heart — is even more precious than I could have ever imagined. Quiet trust is a tear-worthy wonder.
I want to put away my anxious daydreams. I want to throw out all of my silly schemes and plans. I want to stop worrying that my dreams will never come true and instead, I just want to deeply know— just remember that God’s dreams are better and bigger and brighter and more beautiful than mine. This isn’t in my hands. It never has been.
And you know what? There are so many quiet, beautiful things in the now and I just want to soak them in while I’m waiting. I’m a little pink bud, enjoying the sound of rain and the warmth of the sun; happy just in having faith that one day I will bloom.
~
 
~
  1. I’ll never be a bodybuilder.
I hate exercising too often to actually ever build muscle. I think I need to just start focusing on being healthy and not on my weight/general overall squishiness. Because sometimes exercising is so great and I just need to let that happen and stop stressing myself out.
Yeah.
~
  1. It is good to be gentle with yourself.
Are you an anxious blob like me? Do you criticize yourself for stupid things like the way you talk/walk/breathe?
Well chill it, man!
Listen. You are a valid person. You can just exist. You can just breathe and walk and talk and eat and create and exist. Be gentle with yourself, okay? You’ll find that when you are, life isn’t as scary, responsibilities aren’t as scary, social expectations aren’t as scary. Why? Because you’re not basing your worth on those things.
You’ll always be so much more than that, okay?
~
  1. Sometimes it’s okay to just watch cartoons and eat cereal and chill out.
Sometimes you just have to embrace the chill. Just be a kid for a while, eat your Froot Loops, and chill.
~
  1. Umm… that’s it?
It’s only been a week, yeesh.
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Haha, hope you enjoyed that little post! Hopefully next week a be a little less busy and a little more coherent.
Have a great week, lovely friends!

“God, I’m not trying to rule the roost. I don’t want to be king of the mountain. I haven’t meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans. I’ve kept my feet on the ground, I’ve cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content. Wait Israel, for God. Wait with hope. Hope now; hope always!”
 
Psalm 131:1-3 (Message Bible)
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7 thoughts on “In which I am a very busy college student, but am still sending out all the gentle fairy vibes I can manage…

  1. I love this post Brooke, it’s so sweet and thoughtful, and reflects a lot of the things I’ve been thinking about lately too! The growing up part especially. I’ve kind of come to the realization that there has to be a balance between my nostalgic, neverland-dwelling ways – and actually facing responsibility and dealing with certain things in maturity. I’m 18 next month which is terrifying, but I’m trying to just look at it as another age, and new opportunities 🙂 (But for now I’m skipping about the house all day pretending I’m a ballerina, watching Disney films and listening to old school Taylor Swift :P)

    ~Gwyn 🙂 xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awww, Gwyn! Thanks so much for the sweet comment!! And I know exactly what you mean. Turning 18 was so scary for me too. Every year closer to 20 (leaving my teenage years behind) is terrifying! But you’re absolutely right. There is a balance of being responsible yet having childlike wonder always. I guess I’ve just been taking that in little by little, hehe. I absolutely, in no way consider myself a full on adult yet. I just have come to accept that this is the road I’m on and it doesn’t have to be sad! I mean, it’s kinda sad, but exciting and beautiful too… But anyway! You keep listening to your old school Taylor Swift and watching your Disney films, dear friend!! And I’m sending you early birthday wishes!! ^_^ ❤ ❤ ❤

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    1. YES YES YES to everything you said! It’s definitely a journey. There are some days when I’m still completely freaking out and mentally crying, “Nooo I can’t possibly be an official adult next month!!” But I’m just trying to look at the side of it that is an adventure. Another step in my journey of growing towards God, and becoming more of who I’m meant to be 🙂

      And that was very deep.

      Thank you for the birthday wishes!! xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ahhhh I can relate to this so much! But you’re so right ❤ …As an experienced 19 year old, I can confirm that it does get a *bit* easier, haha! X) And I can only imagine it would become even more so with time!! *hugs much* ❤ ❤

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  3. Smiled the whole way through this 🙂 “Anxious blob” practically defines me. I feel a lot of what you said in my soul. I also struggle with having so many wild, child-like dreams and I don’t feel very grown up. But I really believe you’re right: unrealistic doesn’t mean impossible. Loved this post!

    Liked by 1 person

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