Dear first diary,
You are probably the ugliest thing I’ve ever owned.
You are positively unattractive—
Inside and out.
I covered your outside in tacky LisaFrank stickers (sorry Lisa)
I covered your inside in insecurities.
I faked a smile,
Faked a cry,
But once in awhile I did something odd—
I told the truth.
Sometimes the truth is uglier than those sugar-glazed lies,
But oh, I so prefer it.
I really can’t bear the thought of you sometimes,
All those cringe-worthy paragraphs
And clumsy turns of phrase.
All the fears and hopes
And how the world seemed so, so scary.
You are so ugly,
Inside out, but thank you so much.
Thanks for being that listening ear when my life was ugly and new and hopelessly uncertain.
Thank you for being the first canvas for me to make my mistakes on.
I’ve made so many mistakes since then and I will make so many more,
Thank you, first diary, for being a start.
And dearest first diary,
You saw a change in me.
You were there to witness one of the most important changes of my life.
You were there to see me begin to hate how much I hated on myself.
You saw the very beginning of the great caterpillar-to-butterfly change that I am going to spend my whole existence on.
You were there to send me off on this grand journey I’ve embarked on.
So thank you,
My dear, first diary.